Sometimes, though, I am a little smoother than other times. I went to a lunch with my library director (50s, straight, while male) and somehow I smoothly mentioned it, probably something like this:
Oh, yes, my partner and I just bought our house and she is in school full time, so....
Pretty smooth, right?
Today was not a smooth day. I ran into a couple of my coworkers 5 feet away in the coffee shop and we were discussing their kids and so on. The one coworker and I have already had this conversation and so she is in-the-know. The other coworker asks me, Do you have kids, are you married?
And here is what I say.
Uh, well, I'm gay and my, uh, partner is a woman, so we can't get married.
What the grarg is that? I feel like I let down the whole U.S. of Queer with that ridiculous response.
She said, But you can still have kids, right?
It was so kind of her to just glaze over my unnecessary awkwardness and move the conversation along. She started talking about these two girls who found each other because they had the same donor dad, and was a little mushy (in the emotional way) about it. So it all worked out fine, but I came away from it with a resolution. The next time someone asks if I am married, I will fall to the floor as a distraction so I don't have to worry about the cool-ness of my response.
Really, here is what I came up with (for now): No, but my partner and I are planning a committment ceremony.
That is so much smoother.
2 comments:
I dare you to put a rainbow flag at your desk.
i've decided that "girlfriend" doesn't fully describe our 6+ year relationship, so i usually say "partner," especially to straight people I don't know. If it is someone who is queer, I might say girlfriend because they might not make the same assumptions about the serious-ness of our relationship. But they might.
Re: flag. I could actually get one of those big ones and put it the outside of my office door? everyone who buys coffee would automatically know at that point.
Post a Comment